


Room to Grow

by DesertVixen



Category: Hill Street Blues
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Missing Scene, Reaction to death, S4: Grace Under Pressure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 23:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11976909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertVixen/pseuds/DesertVixen
Summary: Frank and Faye deal with Phil Esterhaus' death.





	Room to Grow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SegaBarrett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/gifts).



The divorce had ended his marriage to Faye.

It was some time before he realized that it had not ended their relationship.

He’d known that they would still need to interact with each other, but he had envisioned separation, distance, finality. They would always have Frank Junior to link them, of course, and child support and custody and visitation, but he had thought they would live more-or-less separate lives. Him with Joyce, Faye with a man – a suitable, respectable man who would be a good role model for his son, but not necessarily someone he would have any kind of relationship with.

He had been so very wrong.

The simple fact was that Faye was a part of the Hill, as much as he was. She belonged there – barging into his office with her problems, convenient or not, still expecting him to solve them. He had chafed under that reliance – if he had wanted to be responsible for her problems, he would have stayed married to her.

She belonged there, talking to Phil Esterhaus or Henry Goldblum (Frank told himself he was simply not going to think about anything else they might have done). She belonged there, trying to help the larger community. She just belonged – perhaps at first, because she had been married to him, but now she had her own place, and it would have been wrong to cut her off from the world she’d become part of.

That, and Faye had grown. She still had a habit of barging into his office with no regard for his schedule, but he almost found himself looking forward to it. Sometimes her visits could be very entertaining indeed. The time he and Joyce had run into Faye and a judge “having lunch” had been one of them, although he had been less amused when she found herself pregnant and alone. He’d harbored a secret fear that she would think it was an opportunity to get back together, to try again – or at least for her to become even needier. But she had surprised him there as well. She had done what needed to be done.

He had enjoyed watching her grow. It was a good feeling – not just relief at having some financial pressure off his shoulder, but pride in her for not giving up, for learning and growing, making a good life for their son. She worked hard, and she had come a long way from being the woman who refused to budget and demand extra money that he didn’t have, the woman who still looked to him to solve every problem, no matter how tiny. She had become a woman he was proud to know.

She could still surprise him, and he hoped that her new job working with unwed mothers would not cause too much trouble. At least she had some practical experience, and he couldn’t see what harm she could do while she was helping these women…

*** 

Days like today brought home to Frank how much they were still related. He was kicking himself for not realizing that Faye was there, for not having made an effort to reach her so that she would know – it was one more thing that he should have done. She deserved that much, but with the Michigan Avenue releases and Phil’s death and Jesus Ramirez and truck hijackings and everything else, he simply had not made time. He should have known better.

Instead, he had turned away from trying to break up a fighter between Belker and Renko, and seen Faye’s white face, how her eyes were wide with shock, and cursed himself. An apology would not be enough.

So now he made time, drew her down on a bench because he could see she needed to sit, and tried to give her a few moments to deal with the news. 

“He taught Frank Junior how to box…I can’t believe it,” she said softly. “It doesn’t seem possible that Phil Esterhaus is just dead.”

“It was sudden. Grace said it was very quick,” he told her. Frank hoped that she didn’t hear any of the more lurid speculations about Phil’s death.

“I’m glad he wasn’t alone. How sad for her, though.”

“She’s holding up. Better than me, I think.” At least Grace could take the time to grieve. It wasn’t a possibility for him, not yet.

Faye turned to him. “You were friends for a long time.”

More than friends or co-workers, Frank mused. He might be the captain at Hill Street, but Phil Esterhaus was its heart and soul. 

Phil Esterhaus had made this place work, maintaining his aplomb no matter the circumstances. Rat infestations, criminals hopped up on drugs, tour groups, public relations, loss of power, overwork, hostage situations, grieving family members, bruised victims, hurt cops – it didn’t matter what it was, Phil Esterhaus handled it in a way that made things better, if not perfect. Frank thought he could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he had seen Phil truly angry – generally over disrespect or violence towards a woman.

He had been a true gentleman, in every sense of the word.

“The whole way over here,” Faye said softly after a moment, “I was thinking about how Phil was going to react when he saw my situation.”

He’d assumed she had had business on the Hill. “What brought you here?”

“More like who brought me here,” she said with a shaky laugh, and told him the story of the young cop who had mistaken her attempt to get a jump for solicitation. “Don’t give him too much grief. He did give me a ride, after all.”

He could just picture Phil reading the cop the riot act, while profusely apologizing to Faye. He wished he could have seen it, that it could have happened, that Phil Esterhaus would walk in that door.  
He wished to hear Phil tell his cops – their cops – to be careful out there, just one more time. 

Faye laid her hand over his. “He was a wonderful man.”

“He’s left me with some pretty thorny problems.”

“Replacing him will be…impossible,” Faye said after a pause. “But someone has to take his place.’

“Not just that.” He stood up, led her to his office where they could have some privacy. “He’s left me in charge of his estate, and he was an organ donor. They need me to make decisions about things.”

“What kind of decisions?” Faye asked as she made herself comfortable.

“They need me to decide who gets his eyes. How am I supposed to decide something like that?”

She could hear the frustration in his voice, the sadness. Maybe she could help him this time, for a change. “What are the choices?”

Fifteen minutes later, she had helped him decide on a teen boy as the recipient, arguing that Phil Esterhaus would enjoy the thought of his eyes getting to enjoy the female form a little longer. He refrained from telling her that Phil’s appreciation of the female form had helped lead to this whole situation.

He walked with her to the office door. “I’ll have someone give you a ride and get the car taken care of,” Frank told her.

“Thanks.” Faye stood there a moment longer. “I’m glad I could help you, for a change.”

He was glad too. On a day like today, he needed something to be glad about.

Their marriage was ended, but their relationship still had room to grow.

**Author's Note:**

> The story takes place during the S4 episode, "Grace Under Pressure" dealing with Phil Esterhaus' death, but general references to the series.


End file.
